Nothing has improved on the nephew front. If anything,things have worsened. I had a dream a couple weeks ago that my son and I went to spend the summer with my parents in Arizona because I just could not deal with how the lack of being allowed to discipline him is effecting my son. My 7 year old is more responsible and willing to help than this 20 year old. My son just doesn't understand why he gets in trouble for not doing his chores when the nephew doesn't. I have to agree with him. I think it makes no sense and certainly does not help this young man become a man. I have a very strong feeling this dream will come true and I hate that. I don't want to leave my home, but with him here it is not my home. I had a certain amount of control and a strong support system in my home but that is no more.
I understand that this whole situation puts my husband between myself and his mother; however, his mother can afford to have her opinions because the nephew cannot live with her- he stole from her husband and isn't allowed on the property. If I remove myself from this situation, he will no longer be in the middle. He and his mom can work together to see to the nephew as they see fit without my input.
I am really struggling with my anger right now. My doctor has told me repeatedly that if I continue to hold it in I will either burst and cause irreparable damage to my loved ones or my health will fail to the point where I am hospitalized. I don't like those options but if I say anything to the nephew I'm considered harsh, if I say anything to my mother in law I get brushed off, if I say anything to my husband I only feel guilty for putting him in the horrible situation. I feel I have no where to turn.
